13. The tea talk {EN}

I sipped a warm, full mouth of tea. It lingered on my tongue like the memory of her kiss. It nourished my aching soul like the thoughts of what I could be with her.

A tea so full of a flavour that rattled my bones with desire for more.

It smelled like home close to the shore, like a wild meadow in the mountains filled with flowers, thyme and me. It tasted sweet like honeysuckle and roses, like Nora's lips and her bruised knees. It poured inside me like the rain that matched our paths today.

I shivered deeply, a sigh escaped my lips and I surrendered.

My body finally let go and I felt all my clothes constrict me. I was a snake ready to shed the traces of the past and move into another cycle. Of what, I am not sure.

It feels so long since last time I felt something not even close to what she made me feel, to what Elyria demands of me.

She must have felt my unrest because she came before me, kneeling in front of me, blocking away the heat from the fire.

- This, let's take it off. She walked her fingers on my arm, caressing the fabric.

- I've never seen something alike. What is this, Ales?

- sharkskin.

- şaşin.

- No, shark skin.

- That. She smiled like a kid amazed by nature.

- A creature of the ocean.

- Something I've never seen.

- Not even off-world? You said you were away.

- Well, yes, for school...but ocean..well, I've only smelled it once.

- I understand, it is quite far from here.

- How do you know.

- Well, geography, I guess. I guess this time around I actually read that fucking brief.

- what is a brief?

- nevermind. It's something be happy you don't have to deal with. I shushed away all the thoughts of the army, the lord and his kin. Like somehow she could tap into my mind and read me like an open book.

Thinking of things I'd see open, I wouldn't mind spreading her legs. Her thighs were glowing from behind and glistening in the front from the fabric of her bodice...or dress, I guess?

I took off my jacket and gave it to her. I brushed my fingers over her breast and it felt like warm metal, I moved my hand over her waist and lingered there for a heart beat.

- Speaking of things I've never seen.

She slapped my hand away with her tail and pushed me back with her left hand, the right one still holding my jacket.

I stumbled back, ass on the dirt, calves scratching the log I was sitting on.

- I guess I deserved that. To my defense, I was talking about the fabric of your dress. I've never felt something alike. What is it?

- I don't think that way of asking deserves a reply.

- Should I try again? Touch you better? Making an exaggerated expression of interest. Like a puppy with a bone.

She laughed. I felt the tension ease with this joke that actually hit.

- You're crazy.

- And weird, that's decidedly so.

- Come one come all, circus is in town.

We laughed together for a while, trembling with release. It wasn't all from the joke.

I felt rushing back all the memories of the day, trying to settle inside me, some in my body some in my mind. In my soul, I guess it's only me and Nora tonight.

I drank again from the tea and it was much less intense that I wanted. It made me remember the soma. I guess it's like this with first times, sometimes every again is a desire for that first one.

Sometimes, you get a first time to remember.

- It fits you well, the şaşin. I'll trade you for it.

- You'd barter your coat away?

- Only for your dress.

- Is this the game you wanna play?

- No, forget it. I've seen...you naked already, I whispered to my mind and she surprisingly knew.

- But I, however, haven't seen you.

- We're not playing this game.

- Not without cards, obviously.

- What? You play card games here as well?

- I'm not sure what you've briefed our world about but even savages play cards around here.

- That's not how you use the word brief. I laughed rather loudly and she shivered in discontent.

I realized then, that she was, like me, a player. Likely talented in many games, with many different rules, with barters, wins and bitter losers.

I had a different game in mind to play with her. That's when she asked for truth or dare.

I knew that game well, I always took the dare, afraid of what truth could come to my lips.

But this time, her lips felt true, I felt raw, seen, and I said

- Truth.

- What is your other name?

- Visconti.

This name landed harshly on her face. A frown, disgust and rage creeped through her features.

- You came here with the tallis, I should have known. Visitors my ass you are. 

- You have no clue how come I got to bear this name. Sadness and grief entwined with shame and anger inside me, responding to her reaction.

She vividly dislikes them, and for good reason, I wish she only knew the pain and hate I endured under this name, under the lord commander.

- Whose blood you carry then, Alessandro Visconti?

- I could ask you the same, Nora...

- Dare. Choose wisely or we won't play another round.

It came to my lips sooner than I thought it would. I knew exactly what I'd watch her do, and it's nothing like the thoughts of earlier me, that would watch her dance away those curves into infinity. That memory is already mine to keep.

- Show me the best of your magic, in any way you see fit.

- I'll think about it.

- That's not how you play this game.

- I'll do it. I'll always take your dare. A silent pact sealed her lips. It felt like meeting an old friend, heads up at the table, cards drawn, bets ready to be cast.

She walked over to her cup, barefoot on the cave's floor, wrapped up in my jacket. A short shiny skirt rustled over the tail that lingered, as if weightless behind her back.

She crouched over, tending to the fire. Legs crossed underneath, she stood straight facing the fire, palms facing the flames.

Her perfect posture was something I could aimlessly sketch for hours. The way light draped around her curves, lighting her hair from within, wave by wave, a violet sea embracing a şaşin, with sparkling lights over her womb and chest she was nothing short of a beautiful painting you'd hope will last forever.

She asked me to stand and give her my hands. Left facing upwards and right facing down, I was to be open to receive her hand and support her with mine. Her necklace lit up as if charging with light. She told me to lay still, to shush every thought and feel only the light.

The light that poured like molten gold between us, through almost perfectly mirrored palms that no longer surprised me, an endless loop of energy inside and out, connected to something greater that simply flows through us.

My skin almost burst with light, or so it felt. Like millions of freckles fine as dust lit up over my skin, like I was some kind of golden boy.

I saw it on her face, the unlikely surprise to receive what you didn't even dream for. She gleamed herself, pure joy on her girlish face, nose tip to tail washed in the finest threads of light. There they are again. How odd and equally exciting. What a surprise to feel it on myself.

We broke hands, unsure of what was that.

She knew more than I did, that is for sure, and I...so curious for more.

- What was that...

- An imprint of light.

- I should've asked for a dare with explanations. Wow, Nora, that was intense. Is this what they teach you in school here?

- my Nina taught me. I thought it only worked on me...so far. Somehow, I pulled it through this time. How did it feel?

- Like we were one with God and it charged all my being. What does it do, though? Magic wise?

- It protects, in its core, but so much more.

- You...blessed me.

- In a way. In many, I have been blessed. I thank the magic of your hands for mirroring that back.

- Wait, did I do something in this too?

- You were the mirror, Ales. A golden one, no doubt. Now I will forever know your light. And you will mine.

- How does that work?

- How to explain...let's say we meet again sometime, this life, the next, who knows how far in time and space, who knows the different colors or names that we might wear, deep down, you'll know it's me. We're astrally acquainted.

She bowed gracefully, like her blood is noble and kind, one hand cupping the heart, the other given out gracefully. A formal salute oddly familiar, a remnant of the Old World and its ways. Or other world? Who know these days...sometimes I think I'm going crazy.

Nora checked her waistcoat, patting around to assess the degree of moisture still left.

- You can keep my jacket if you want.

- That's nice of you to offer, however, nights of May sometimes get really cold. The stars are out, we're bracing for some shivers.

- Then give it back when you're good and warm.

- We should see what's left to eat and drink through the night. Water is not very far, the lonely waterfall is less than half hour away through the dark, if we’re in dire need of it. Do you have any water with you?

- A few gulps, yes. I could use a shower though.

- You must be joking.  It's cold, man.

- Dare me.

***

There it was. That twisted smirk on his face, the master's touch amongst his features, rivalling only with the silver ice blue of his eyes. Framed perfectly by dirty curls that draped heavily around the right side of his face.

His skin was like dark golden sand, warmed up by copper hues of firelight. The storm of the day left trails of dust and dirt on him, but I could see how the sheer passion from my lips licked clean those wicked trails that make a mouth I'd kiss forever.

It ached between my legs and tail, so very deep inside me coiled up a swirl of light, expanding, pushing through, demanding serious attention to quench its fleshy thirst.

It's my turn.

- Truth or dare.

- Dare.

- Fine. I dare you to walk to the waterfall and back naked. Since you already said you'd succumb to the pain of a cold shower by your own choice, why not make it spicy. I'll walk first, grant you some privacy for the hurdle.

- How malicious of you, miss Nora. I might have underestimated you slightly.

- Who said I was a miss.

- I'll take the dare, but that means we play on.

- Better finish up that tea and warm well for the stroll.

- Truth or dare, miss?

- Again, not a miss. Dare.

- I'll think about it.

He bowed arrogantly, winking at me with that twisted smile. The curve of his eyelid and the edge of his mouth elongated harmoniously toward the tip of his ears. Quite pointy, now that I noticed. It's like he shaved half of his head on purpose, to make sure that gaze scores every time, melts every heart it grasps.

A weapon most fine for a young gentleman, which he doesn't look a bit like. Visconti, however, there's more to dig about that with other questions. He looks like an odd stud for the herd that I've known by this name. I want to know more. Maybe he's something else.

Instead of sitting down, he lifted his cup and drank fully. Tea trinkled down his face, dissipating on the linen shirt that clung rather tightly around his torso. His arms flexed, tensing the fabric, molding the shoulders into the camisa.

A bit old-fashioned for a star stranger, with shark skin jacket and military grade pants. A peculiar choice of clothing even for a Visitor. It didn't seem that way at first, but now that I look closer I see his self amidst uncertain choices, a little lost, a little found.

He fixed me with his gaze and pulled closer, brushed over my arm and went behind me, clasping with only two fingers the tip of a small zipper resting on my chest.

- May I? 

I could only nod, trailing his movement with my eyes, feeling his hot breath on my neck, some strands of my hair dancing to the vibration of his voice.

He sounds deep like the ocean, like a soft tremble of the earth that sometimes turns to ashes, sometimes lights up with joy. A mesmerizing chant that when he calls my name - a bit of me dies swallowed by his words.

His voice, an insidious spell that you'd hardly ever say no to. Pure danger for the heart of a maiden, pure thrill for the woman within.

He pulled out from the front pocket a small glass bottle with a fine artful engraving. I could only distinguish an A. It seemed weightless when he took it away from the pocket.

He turned away, dark lights flickering slightly around his fingers. Soma.

He bent his nose downwards and lifted a tiny wand that was fixed in the cork of the bottle, lifting up a whiff of powder. A glistening twirl of the finest powder left the wand on his inhale. He closed the container and rubbed his nose.

- It's soma is it not?

- Finest at that. You use it?

- No...I've never tried....i don’t know if I want to...I mean, I heard the stories...

- I’m not sharing it then, enough firsts for you today.

- What does it do?

- You'll see. Not now. Maybe one day you'll find your way to it. Maybe it never finds you. Maybe it never leaves you. I would be many firsts to you Nora, but not this one.

- Why not?

- Because it changes you. Plus, we barely got acquainted. I want to know the real you.

- Aren't you really you?

- I don't remember myself without it. A little found, a little lost.

- Does it feel good?

- Sometimes it numbs you, sometimes you ache with presence. It finds a way of granting a deep wish, it tricks its way into another meet. insatiable, curious, wicked.

- A lot like magic. 

I understood his reason. Why he wouldn't force me into an experience I knew nothing about, that I had no clue of how it might change me...but isn't life the same? Isn't falling in love made from the same spice? Alas, I had to know more.

-Why do you use it?

- Curiosity should always be satisfied, so I’ll answer you. He winks at me like I forgot I phrased the same words to him earlier that day. I roll my eyes and he continues.

-I wish it was a simple answer. He lowers his gaze and avoids mine.

- Make it honest at least.

- Nora, you’ll get it when you try it. I guess your insatiable curiosity will lead you to it, eventually. His voice turned soft, with a bitter aftertaste of memories I knew nothing of. He let it go with a loud sigh.

-I’ll let you into my personal story, Nora. I wasn’t born in a paradise land like Elyria, I was born in the vast darkness between the stars, of a mother whose warmth I barely remember and a father I’ve never met. I was raised in between worlds by strangers whose families were also scattered across the universe... My Lord took care of me enough to keep me alive and left me here and there in the Colonies to make do without much help....There are things you’ll never understand truly until you haven’t lived them through... and things that weigh down your soul once you’ve done them....The soma blurs enough of these to keep me more anchored in the present moment. It quiets and relieves me, clears up my mind and lifts my spirit.

- It pulls the veil over the Shadows.

- What?

- Your Shadows, Alessandro, the ones that you just hinted of...I thank you for sharing your truth. You might be right, it’s not something I would try, not now... but maybe... maybe Elyria will gift your soul with a new way of bringing those shadows into the Light.

- Why would I ever do that?

- For the gold that resides within them.

His face was calm and rested, like the soma erased part of his feelings away, clearing up his eyes with a soft silver blue shine, like there was a sparkle within. I wondered if there were tears gathering just across the threshold of his thick lashes.

I've seen this kind of light behind some eyes before, a dear memory engraved in my childhood bones, with family and friends around the hearth, in moments of infinite connection.

I see him only now holding that light, steadier than before. What was then a mere flicker, some scattered lights every now and then, was now a lasting stream of brightness behind his light blue eyes.

I knew the soma gifted him presence. I wondered what he's due for what he receives. I wonder what it would do to me.