5. Part I

Are we falling in love or in war?

The First

I've generated my desk by a large window, facing the garden. I can see nothing beyond. The garden is bathed in sounds, the music I hear tells me what is due. Drop by drop, Nora, it’s the only way.

I rest my elbows into the old wood and my head sinks in my palms. For what it feels like the first time in forever, I allow myself to cry. Another sign.

I straighten my spine and breathe. My chest opens, tears flow to the ground and caress my body with pain, dor and helplessness. It’s time.

A shivering hand grabs the pen and paper. Yes, I truly need to feel these memories lay to rest in the Library, honor them with the energy of my hands, allowing my body to purge with as many tears it needs.

Something still keeps me away from writing.

I wriggle in my chair, fitting an ankle under my bottom. I reach for the crystal goblet and drink. Well since you're gonna sissy-cry about it at least hydrate properly.

Do you ever take a break?!

I stand and push open the window. Cold air whips my face and I step back. Get back to writing, Nora.

I breathe in and leave the dark, cold rain stir awake my memories. A perfect key, a mirror for what lays inside me. What are you afraid of?

The darkest corners only need a little light. Light is also what forgotten memories require.

I sit again in my chair, steadfast and noble, at last convinced it is the best choice to let my memories cross into the Library. Something's still missing.

I breathe in, close my eyes and blow my energy into a thin thread towards the dusty candle on the table. Lumina! Magia!

How does the story begin, Nora?

With a glance, of course.

Two kids who see each other for the first time and the overwhelming feeling that something is forever changed. It begins with souls that gaze at each other through ever-changing eyes that fixate on a look.

Right then and there, these two souls took a breath at once, unaware of it so, yet their lips conveyed a silent message with a smile. I know you.

What eyes are gazing back, Nora?

Blue.

A few tears knotted in my throat just the same as a knot of feelings coiled in my solar plexus then. I was looking at him, amazed at the feeling of seeing someone for the first time while my heart skipped a beat in order to fall into a rythm of warm familiarity.

You know what, YOU, the one who may some day read these memories, I truly wish you get to live this feeling plenty. To feel this in ways that surprise you, overwhelm you, arouse you and drive you crazy. And I hope you understand I wish you well. 
Know you deserve to meet
the Other and Yourself
as many times
under as many faces
in oh so many nights
and as many daybreaks.

***

An instinct pushed our bodies closer, I almost felt a wind of embrace in my veins, the same that subtly stopped in his being as well.

We're face to face, each quite self-confident, yet charmingly disarming in our postures.

-Who are you?

-Alessandro.

-Delighted.

-You?

A half smile curls my lips with silence. Maybe you already know.

He shivered then smiled puzzled, as if I caught him thinking something unappropriate. He shook of the feeling and extended a hand.

I offered mine back, he grabbed it firmly, a bit clumsy, unsure of the force he should show. I mirrored his eagerness almost instantly, as did my hand. My body whispered I've met an equal.

-What brought you here, stranger?

-Curiosity should be rewarded, so I'll grant you a reply. I search for a lyrae flower. My cheeks were getting warm and I had to look away from those blue eyes that were fixating on me.

-Great, that makes us two. I was terribly unprepared for that answer, I pause, but exhale relieved and tell him:

-Well, you know, I thought I'd get the usual answer...

-Only fools search for these flowers, silly boy.

-Mind your business girl, these flowers are nothing but stories.

We both burst into laughter. It's as if our minds played a mockery rant of every one who tried chipping away at our Faith with words.

-You come here often, stranger?

-Not really, no. It's been a long while since I roamed through this part of the forest, yet there used to be a time when my scent was all over these trails.

-So it was you who filled the oaks with honeysuckle?

-Weird.

-Me? Yes, I've been called that.

-Are you from...around, Alessandro?

-I'm from nowhere. Yet I've been keenly following this forest for a few days.

-Who sent you here?

-Maybe you already know.

This boy smiles at me with all his straight, perfectly lined teeth, arrogantly and brazen. Fair, fair. I pout in discontent, yet appreciate a balanced game. Maybe some questions could be left unaswered for a while.

-Maybe you'll tell me later. I firmly grab his hand and wink him to follow me. Come with me, stranger.

I was sure he would follow as sure as I am that our suns will shine every day. I'm sure of it because I would've done the same. Why?

Because there is a time, Nora, when everything seems possible. When no regrets hold you back, no prior mistake, no traumatic happenings and no memory of what you have lived. Because in your hear there's a spark that dies to be born into a new star when it mirrors itself in the Other. 

Because at times, Present is no longer living on the edge of the blade between Past an Future. It opens its eyes towards infinity and you realize, maybe for a little while or forever, that a voyage through endlessness is more beautiful twogether. 

Of course, not all stories start this way, yet I feel with certainty that all those who do begin so have an ending you deserve to find out.

***

I pick a fresh tear from my bottom lashes and point that finger towards the candle.

Fire and tear kiss and dissapear with a spark under my finger. My energy returns to my core.

I put the pen down, the room disintegrates in million golden sparkles that quickly fade away. The projection room is again empty and cold, yet it doesn't seem as overwhelming as it was when I entered. The spherical space fenced by transdimensional fibre gives me a strange feeling of freedom. It's clean and smooth, without any imperfection, and here I am within as a tree in a glass globe, on my toes, ready at once to receive a good shaking.

I sit in lotus pose in the middle of the room and complete the finishing breathing sequence. I open my eyes and leave my favorite mat, pacing towards the spring.

Fresh water on my eyelids, my fingers tingling, I breathe deep. Cold water drips over my chest and I feel this unfinished story knot in my body. I shall untangle you, promit.